Monday, November 10th, 2008
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11:27 am - I haven't written in this in a long ass time and felt like being creative
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a day that you look up at the sky
and have a question of why
things happen the way they do,
complications through that path of life,
cuts your heart like a knife,
and you wonder if love can exist for you,
you fall for the wrong type of a guy,
then once you fall for the right one,
he's leaving anyway so what was the point,
as you live each day,
trying to make it in every way,
you have those questions,
Do things really happen the way they're supposed to?
do u take all the actions for the perfect life for you?
whats supposed to happen in the future?
Will you make a difference in the world and succeed?
will you flunk out trip and bleed?
the mystery seems to be for all of us to decide
the journey really isn't an easy one,
but faith makes us keep going and run,
and hopefully someday we'll figure out destiny,
and who we're truly meant to be,
figuring this out is the hardest endeavor,
but we'll figure out what could make us happy forever,
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( dance in Florida )
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Monday, July 28th, 2008
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6:34 pm
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when u hang out with people who make u laugh and make u forget about anything thats upset u, it feels pretty damn amazing and thats what I did last night...and it made me happy :)
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( dance in Florida )
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Sunday, July 20th, 2008
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3:04 pm
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ever want to just erase a person from ur mind?
erase they ever existed...
erase u ever went out with them....
erase u were ever friends...
yeah I would love to do that right about now...
Hopefully when I get to college he'll slip away from my mind and I will forget....that'd be soo nice...
on the other hand...last night was amazing!! I have friends that I love so much and even though I'm not going far to college I'm still sad and really going to miss all of them...
I can't believe it...this is really it...a month from now...I'm leaving the town I grew up in...I'm leaving and starting off new somewhere with a lot of strangers...I'm really nervous...I feel like it somewhat hasn't hit me yet....gosh so wierd...for once in my life I have no idea whats going to be the outcome of anything....and that makes me sad nervous and excited all at the same time...I just hope things turn out good in the long run...I just hate the suspense of everything
current mood:  thoughtful
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( dance in Florida )
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Sunday, June 15th, 2008
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9:13 pm
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One thing I realized tonight...although life gets hard...although high school has the same drama shit...there's one thing I haven't lost from people....and thats respect...
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( dance in Florida )
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Saturday, May 3rd, 2008
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5:41 pm
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Correction from my last entry:
I realized this weekend I haven't lost my friends :) <333
Although I had to say goodbye to someone...I still worry about him....I want him to be happy...and if that means going out with someone else so be it...I just hope he's going to be ok
current mood:  okay
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(1 Minnie | dance in Florida )
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Thursday, May 1st, 2008
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10:17 pm
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Life is so wierd sometimes....I mean events that happen kind of shock u sometimes but u can't control things I guess...idk
I broke my relationship off yesterday because I realized we were both so different in soo many ways and he agreed...there was no excitement at all...I just hope our friendship hasn't been ruined but hey thats life...
I'm pretty much drifting from a handful of my friends but I guess I saw it coming for a while and it was out of my control....
The wierd thing about both these situations right now is they're not affecting me at all...I'm so numb to everything and idk what that even means...sometimes I wonder if somethings wrong with me that I don't even care anymore...
College is somewhat a disappointment...I know I want to be a teacher someday...I think I've realized that when I mentor on Wednesdays and I see this girl's excitement when she shows me what she's learned in class...it just makes me really happy to think I might be teaching kids like her someday...and I know Southern's the best school for what I want to do...I guess sometimes I just wish I was getting further away...and really going to get more of an experience...I guess Southern will be a huge change though because the people I've been pretty close to are all going away so hopefully I will be meeting new people...I just hope that somehow everything works out for me because idk if it will....
Life is just really complicated right now....
current mood: thoughtful
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( dance in Florida )
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Monday, April 28th, 2008
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10:24 pm
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So some days my family drives me crazy and other days I have no idea what I'd do without them...
haha we just got wii yesterday and my parents were playing against each other tonight...they can be so cute together...they definitely just make me laugh :)
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( dance in Florida )
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8:29 pm
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So as of right now thank God I'm not having any angry moments or any mean times where I'm mad at people or want to kill them for good or bad reasons haha
Although there are days I want to cry because I over analyze everything in my life...I'm starting to take things day by day as they come....and I'm trying not to worry about much anymore....
I'm ready to meet new people in college and hopefully next year I'll be able to...yet I'll still stay in touch with people I want to stay in touch with...
Southern scares me because their administration is horrible and I'm disorganized as it is..but somehow I'm going to get my act together next year....idk how but I am completely determined...
I'm loving my job right now because its just a place I can get away from everything which is pretty awesome!...I love the people I work with and idk I guess my job keeps me busy :)
The one thing I'm starting to learn to grow out of is worrying what others say and think about me...I'm always worried people are talking about me or my relationship or different things and the way I look at it is as long as I'm nice to them and like the person who I am why should I worry about any of that crap?...
current mood:  calm
current music: stop and stare
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( dance in Florida )
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Sunday, April 20th, 2008
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6:49 pm
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I run into one person today that was like "I didn't know u guys were friends"
and says "he's going to go back out with his old girlfriend"
a person who is maybe a distant friend and I just get angry because I feel every fuckin person looks at me as another one of those stupid girls....
gee I wonder why I want to get the hell out of high school...
and maybe just maybe I can meet new people that would be REAL NICE!!!
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(1 Minnie | dance in Florida )
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6:44 pm
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Just to put a word in for all of u people who knew my relationship wouldn't last or were "suprized" that I went out with the guy in the first place....
Newsflash our relationship mainly didn't work out (partly because of him) but mainly because of all u morons who had to make me miserable...
THANKS SO MUCH!!!
current mood:  angry
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( dance in Florida )
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Tuesday, April 15th, 2008
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4:26 pm
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I deleted those entries because I realized I was being kind of dumb I need to learn how to deal with things in a mature way...
I love all u guys I'm srry I just get different things thrown at me all at once and it makes my head spin but I really appreciate that u all care <33
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( dance in Florida )
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Friday, April 4th, 2008
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5:05 pm
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So things are calming down now luckily...
As of today my mom said she was srry and that she's just not ready for me to grow up...
I really do love my mom there are just certain days I'm at the end of my rope...
I've realized that my life is just a never ending rollercoaster going up and down a million times
I have highs and lows between my moods my decisions, events in my life, outside factors of other people affecting my moods...
For next year I've decided I'm really REALLY THIS TIME going to Southern...and if I want to go further in the future I will...but I'm starting off there and seeing where life leads me...
off to work...
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( dance in Florida )
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Thursday, April 3rd, 2008
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3:50 pm
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Maybe that last entry was harsh..I'm just really frustrated right now..
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( dance in Florida )
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3:30 pm
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SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HERE!!!! I AM SOOO SICK OF THIS TOWN!! I AM SOO SICK OF EVERYTHING!!! My mom is always always fuckin mad at me for who knows what the fuck for...I just can't fuckin escape anything...I really hate my life!!! I fuckin hate everything
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(2 Minnies | dance in Florida )
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Tuesday, April 1st, 2008
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1:49 pm
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So wild to think about things...my life...my future...
the trip to disney was just the most amazing trip I've ever been on...
I love everyone in Band and I loved playing flute in the sun and as we marched we were marching toward the castle which was just amazing...
It's wierd to think about where I'm going to be some day..what I'm going to be doing...who I'm going to stay in touch with...
I think people underestimate me sometimes...they think I wouldn't ever leave Connecticut...they think I wouldn't have the guts...but the truth is people might be shocked to know they're wrong...
I was thinking about something my mom said...
She told me that she told my neighbor that I was looking at colleges in New York and that my neighbor laughed saying I would never go there...
I'm starting to think New York isn't my dream but my dream really is to leave here some day...
I hate the cold...I hate the winter...and Florida has never made me soo happy...
I just really could see me living there some day...
although I didn't apply to florida colleges....I might go to a state school and transfer...or I might go to a state school here and try to get a career there some day...
Disney just fascinated me...they're soo organized in the communications field with everything they do...they make families and kids smile every single day...and it brings back memories of when I was a child...
This weekend just made me so happy in so many ways...I had so much fun with everyone in Band and the feeling of playing my flute there was just indescribable
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( dance in Florida )
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Saturday, March 8th, 2008
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1:38 pm
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So my sister was helping me with my dance and the song I was doing looked stupid haha so I changed it...and I have to work my butt off for every day til Thursday to get things good...I've decided this isn't about winning though...it's all about having fun :) and I don't care if I win or what happens because like it or not this is the last chance I'll get to dance on that Foran stage ever so I'm going to give it the best shot I can because thats pretty all I can do...:)
current mood:  motivated
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( dance in Florida )
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Thursday, March 6th, 2008
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4:40 pm - People must think I'm crazy
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So for film as lit we have to do a project of comparing a movie to a book:
I was going to do The Notebook which I have the movie and book but I decided I liked Pay It Forward better
I just went to three stores trying to find the freakin movie lol
I love how when I see something in a store a million times I don't want or need it then but when I need it for school I can't find it anywhere
I'm losing my mind lmao I can't help but just laugh at myself:
I walked out of Stop & Shop's entrance door and had to turn around to walk out the exit door
I'm telling everyone in school since I haven't practiced my dance at all for Miss FOran I'm just going to go out there and shake my butt because eh what else should I do?
althought I sound crazy right now I've never had soo much confidence for some reason
I love my job soo much and idk I just love the way things are going right now
and w/e happens next week I've decided to show my school what I do almost every day of my life...what I live for....whats my passion...and thats dancing in any way I can...minus the shaking my butt a million times :)
and college decision....I'm getting there....I love kids love mentoring every week and want to be a teacher for elementary ed...and I know that states schools are my best option just have to decide between three of them...
Florida is only like 20 days away!!!!! and I had a flute sectional today and it actually went well!!
maybe I'm boring right now because I have no dramtic problems and maybe I sound really corny when I say this:
I'M LOVING LIFE RIGHT NOW!!
current mood: happy
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( dance in Florida )
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Saturday, March 1st, 2008
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12:08 am
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My baby is ok!!!!! aka Kelsey my maltese dog who is my best friend <33
My job is going awesome!!
Photo class which I was worried about I have an A in.
I got into Pace University! another school I get to go visit and confuse myself more lol :)
not too far away from Miss Foran
Not too far away from DISNEY WITH BAND!!!! AHHH!!! :)
So yes I am really happy right now...
My mood could go down in a few days because well I'm a woman and it happens but right now I'm so happy!! :)
current mood: cheerful
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(2 Minnies | dance in Florida )
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Wednesday, February 20th, 2008
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1:01 pm
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My dog went to the doctors today and she might have a disease....we find out when she goes through x rays on Friday...she means so much to me...as crazy as it sounds I used to walk home before I got my license and I would come home and sit with her and talk to her about my day...some days I'd cry if I had a bad day...but she's always been there...I really just hope she's going to be ok...I don't know what I'll do without her bark...or her wanting to ly down on the couch with me...or her excitement when we go for a walk...I can't lose her...so I pray that Friday the doctors will say everything is fine with her....
current mood:  sad
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( dance in Florida )
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Thursday, February 14th, 2008
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4:40 pm
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So today is Valentine's day and although I don't a special person in my life right now...I remember the time when I did and he made me a candy bar that said Happy Valentine's Day Sara...I guess its something that makes me smile...and I'll never forget it :)...well hope everyone had a special valentine's day <33
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( dance in Florida )
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